Most people who know me are aware that I love a good quote.

Sometimes a good quote will make me smirk, sometimes a good quote will make me LOL, and sometimes a good quote will simply inspire me.  Right now I want to share with you a quote that disgusts me so much that it makes me sick to my stomach - and yet it challenges me so I just have to share it -

“Will my boys grow up viewing woman as no different than the porcelain urinal on the wall of the boys’ room—an object (not a person) to relieve themselves into whenever they feel the urge or need? And will my daughters grow up believing that’s who they’re supposed to be? I hope not.”*

As a husband to a beautiful woman, a father to a lovely daughter and three incredible sons, a brother to five sisters, and a member of the human family, I find this quote deeply disturbing and even nauseating.  I think it is often true, however, especially in this ‘porn is the norm’ culture.  No doubt, the author’s word choice (and this blog title) is meant to shock us into attention and cause us to reflect.  If we honestly evaluate how women are frequently portrayed in the media, it is easy to see that they are often marketed as objects and used to sell products.  And it is definitely easy for all of us – men and women alike – to judge our value on external appearances and functionality rather than our intrinsic value as children of God.  The quote reflects the very sad state of our world today.  Yes, it makes me queasy and quite uneasy.

I have a couple of brief thoughts to share; first with men and then with women, which I hope will help us all to combat this pervasive and perverse ‘porcelain urinal’ worldview.

Men!  I am sure that none of us want the beautiful women in our lives (mothers, sisters, girlfriends, daughters) to be viewed as porcelain urinals; even the thought of this should provoke disgust and righteous anger.  And yet before we go out and begin a cultural war, we need to look into our own hearts.  Do we look women in the eyes; or rather give them that “up and down” look that focuses on their bodies?  Do we mindlessly consume media?  Does pornography or lust have a hold on us?  I suggest that any time we become aware of anything in our lives that contributes to lustful perceptions and attitudes – whether it is our actions, the things we watch, sites we browse, or a twisted thought life - we should bring these things to Jesus in Confession ASAP; because there we experience not only His mercy, but strength for the pursuit of purity.  The Lord wants us to love women as He does, and He can help us to do so.  I love the idea of following Jesus so closely that we actually see other people through His eyes.  Wouldn’t that be the coolest thing ever – if we could see all people, especially women, through His eyes of pure love and compassion?  That would change the world – or at least the corner of the world that each of us occupies.  As Gandhi famously said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

Also, we men need to consider calling out our friends when they treat/look at/discuss women disrespectfully.  My friend Dan, a high school football player, regularly told guys in the locker room to shut up when they talked smack about girls.  That takes a rare kind of courage; let’s all pray for that kind of courage!  And as we do that, let’s listen for a moment to see if there is anything else specific that the Lord might want us to do to battle our “porn is the norm” culture and remind the women in our lives of their dignity as beautiful daughters of God.

Women! First of all, I want you to know that you are so much more than porcelain urinals, even if you feel that way about yourself, and even if you are treated as such in the media and by men in your life.  You are God’s greatest creation, His greatest work of art.  In one of the Biblical accounts of creation, you may recall that God kept making things cooler and cooler and cooler...and he didn’t stop with dudes…he created women...and not as an afterthought either; God created women last because you are the most stunningly beautiful of all created beings.  I pray that you will pray to believe it.  It is a fact.  Understanding this reality in the depths of your heart will change your life.  Ask God to reveal to you the dignity that is inherently yours.  He would love to do that for you. 

And ladies, I hope you don’t mind if I also take this opportunity to apologize on behalf of my gender.  If any guy has ever looked at you in a way that has made you feel like an object, I ask you to please forgive him.  Your forgiveness just may lead to his heart becoming more pure, and I know for sure that your forgiveness of the disrespectful behavior of men will keep your heart more and more open to real love in all of its forms.  I also want to beg you women who are reading this to help us brothers out!  In our over-sexualized culture, it is not easy for us to look you in the eyes; we have been trained otherwise and need to be reprogrammed.  Not only will it help us if you expect – even demand – to be respected by men, but please call us out when you are not respected.  We need to be challenged.  And finally please prayerfully consider rediscovering modesty; try not to dress in a way that will incite the men in your life to look at you as an object.  If you ever doubt whether an outfit is modest, ask someone you trust...please.  You have no idea how much the pursuit of modesty - and expecting more out of us - can help us out.

There are a thousand more things that I could probably say, but I want to just close with the quote that disgusts me and challenges me –